If one day I said everything I really thought...

Communication, I’m sure you’ve heard, is the key and honesty the only way. You’re supposed to communicate, the experts say it’s unhealthy to bottle it all up inside, to let your woes fester and boil alone and unheard in your gut. So I’ve started telling people what’s on my mind. But suddenly I’m an open book and I can’t seem to go back. Suddenly I’m incapable of lying.

What if it doesn’t stop? And I start to tell people what I think... all of the time?

Imagine if, on any given day, on any train, in any lecture theatre, I was just entirely honest.

Wow! Your nose is huge! No really, has it always been this way, or did you wake up this morning and bam, it was huge!?

You are so beautiful you bring tears to my eyes.

That shirt is so hideous it is an insult to bad fashion.

If you say, “Fo shiz man, like wow” just one more time, I will personally tear your teeny-bopper tongue out.

I really wish you’d notice I exist. Since you didn’t, I’m here to tell you, I exist!

I don’t hate anyone. But one day, when I’m old and bitter and have nothing better to do, I reserve the right to hate you.

Will you marry me and have 100’s of children with me and massage my smelly feet? Because I think you are like... so hot.

I can smell your breathe from 5m away. It’s called a toothbrush, they are in aisle 5.

I know you just farted. Don’t try and hide it.

You are most definitely, without a doubt the most boring orator on the planet.

Needless to say, my generously offered opinions would not be well received. People lie about wanting you to be honest. Self-preservation teaches us to censor what we say. And thus, we hold our tongues. Or we lie.