Some random thoughts sewn together while the flowers sleep

I have no idea what I want to say.

There is a story in my heart with a beginning, middle and an end
but it has no characters and the scene is hazy,
the plot eludes me and the words evade me,
all I know is it starts, gets complicated and then ends happily ever after,
several thousand times.

What on earth is goin’ on in my heart?

Has it turned as cold as stone?

Seems these days I don’t feel anythin’

‘Less it cuts me right down to the bone

David Gray

I’ve been a powerhouse of focused reading, a tour de force of note taking. I have submerged myself in a void, and filled it with distraction. But now I’ve lost my mojo, my way and my light. I woke up, or I’ve fallen back asleep. I just want to drink tea and nap, read novels and philosophise. I’ve been day dreaming about hiking mountain ranges and sailing on calm bays of empty thought. It’s all variations of nothing in particular, something so familiar all over again.

There’s a person inside me I want to be, I can see them, but I don’t know whether they are me, or an imaginary being. I’m staring and waving my arms but for some reason I can’t get their attention.

So I bought a shrub. Her name is Boronia and she will be my offering to this world. In this graveyard garden, amongst the remnants of tennis balls, where mangled bones lie on upturned dirt she’s going to flower in the winter and spring, absorb sunshine and carbon and make people smile... if I don’t kill it.

So come along, it wont be long

'Til we return happy

Shut your eyes, there are no lies

In this world we call sleep

Let's desert this day of hurt

Tomorrow we'll be free

Sia