Being studious in the abscence of a highlighter.

I’m studying very hard right now. I’m studying my little head off in fact. You can probably see the beads of perspiration running down my forehead from where you are. I have pages and pages of notes before me and a steadily growing pile of books that have been freshly squeezed of all there obscure information and will soon be returned to whence they came to resume rotting away on dusty shelves. No time is being wasted here, none at all. Nope, no siree... what would a humble student like me have to gain from wasting time after all?

Okay.

Okay.

So shoot me.

But it’s all right really, I am not in fact wasting time at all. In fact, I’ve actually stopped time just to bring this 2.50pm breaking news update to you. Yes that’s right, I have engineered a way to actually stop the clock, hold pages in mid air and pause my dog mid-snore on his couch. Right now wherever you are, dear reader, you’ve been stopped mid ball-scratch, been left hovering halfway out of your car, because I have stopped time, stopped the press, stopped everything, except of course for me and the tippitytappity of my keyboard.

But the question here that is of such fundamental and pressing nature that I should stoop to stop time and turn away from my excessively interesting studies, is this: Why is it impossible to buy just one green highlighter? This is the real reason you see, why I had to deviate from my studies, cycle very slowly to the shops furthest away from me, in search of a very important green highlighter. Perhaps, given the evident difficulty in locating just one, lonesome and preferably cheap green highlighter, I shouldn’t be so colour specific. Perhaps I should have just got Dora the Explorer Crayons and been contented. But I wasn’t you see, it was a green highlighter I required, and only one. Instead I had the option of purchasing a pack of four different coloured highlighters, 3 of which I don’t need or a pack of 6 highlighters, 5 of which I don’t need. In the end, after storming up and down the highlighter-aisle, I had to purchase a pack of two, which means I came home with a yellow highlighter I neither wanted nor needed, just because of the unavailability of a single, green highlighter. I was forced into buying more than I need, forced into submission by big-chain-stores and Faber-fucking-Castell. I left the store peeved, irritated and returned home with a superabundance of unwanted yellow highlighters.

And that my friends, is how the little people are fucked over, every single day.
And um, yes well... that was it really so...I shall resume my invigorating studies. Not that I ever stopped mind you.

P.S. [If you should like to invest in one of these “Stopper of Time” devices you can pick up one for only a quarter of your yearly salary at fuckoffitsmine.com.au]